A BIPARTISAN FABLE BASED ON A RUSSIAN FAIRY TALE

Once, not too long ago, the President planted a reddish-bluish legislation in the White House’s private garden. The legislation grew, and grew, and grew some more until it was enormous and complex and over-ripe. The President started to pull the legislation out of the ground. He pulled and pulled, but it was just too big and complex for one man alone, even for the President. So he called his vice president to help.

The vice president took hold of the President, the President took hold of the legislation and they pulled and pulled, but could not pull it out. The legislation was just too big and complex. So, the vice president called the Speaker of the House to help.

The Speaker of the House took hold of the vice president, the vice president took hold of the President, the President took hold of the legislation, and they pulled and pulled. But the legislation was just too big and complex, and they could not pull it out. So the Speaker of the House called the Minority Leader over to help.

The Minority Leader took hold of the Speaker of the House, the Speaker of the House took hold of the vice president, the vice president took hold of the President, the President took hold of the legislation, and they all pulled and pulled. But still, they could not pull the legislation out. So the Minority Leader called the Community Organizer over to help.

The Community Organizer took hold of the Minority Leader, the Minority Leader took hold of the Speaker of the House, the Speaker of the House took hold of the vice president, the vice president took hold of the President, and the President took hold of the legislation and they pulled and pulled. It seemed impossible that their bipartisan efforts bore no fruit, but still, they could not pull it out. So the Community Organizer made a huge mistake and called the voter over to help.

The voter took hold of the Community Organizer, the Community Organizer took hold of the Minority Leader, the Minority Leader took hold of the Speaker of the House, the Speaker of the House took hold of the vice president, the vice president took hold of the President, and the President took hold of the legislation. They all pulled and pulled, and pulled some more, and finally pulled the legislation out. But it was so rotten that the voter got pissed and in one mighty swing threw away into the dustbin of history not only the legislation, but also the Community Organizer, the Minority Leader, the Speaker of the House, the vice president, and the President.

And social media from F to X had a field day.*

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*If you believe that this tale can really happen, you need to talk to your congressperson and start a new conspiracy theory on social media.

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Both the English and the Russian versions are the author’s.